Getting By With A Little Help
by RedTigerRose
Summary: The Inquisition has been disbanded, and Evelyn has returned to Skyhold. However, recent events have finally caught up with her and she's not feeling herself. She is starting to feel as though she will never be happy again.


Daylight streamed through the tall windows of Evelyn's private quarters, but the light does not reach her eyes. The ladies in waiting had left almost forty minutes ago, after filling the bathtub full of steaming hot water and an assortment of scented oils an bubble concoctions and helping her undress. Once they had assisted her into the tub, she had given them leave so as she could be alone once more. The only sounds were the birds singing outside her window, a sound she used to love waking to but now it merely caused an ache between her eyes.

The warm, soothing water was now tepid, and yet still she sat, her right arm slung over the edge, her fingertips lightly touching the tip of the bell handle, sitting ready to ring when she required assistance back out of the tub. What was left of her left arm stayed tucked into her side, in a position that made it easy not to see it.

She had given so much to the Inquisition. So. Much. First, she was treated like a criminal, guilty of mass murder and destruction. Then, she was handed the responsibility of Inquisitor, having her beliefs and her existence forever questioned. Being a mage, she had already grown used to being treated with suspicion from others - and yet, suddenly she became responsible for everything she touched. The dispute between mages and templars became her problem; the corruption of the Grey Wardens became her problem; who ruled the Orlesian Empire became her problem; but still, she had treated each issue with her utmost attention, her utmost compassion, and tried to do right by all parties involved. All while battling Corypheus and his army of Red Templars, closing Rift's across two nations, and keeping hope alive within her followers.

Corypheus was now over two years dead, and the Breach was closed. And yet, at the Exalted Council it became clear that neither Ferelden nor Orlais would ever thank her for saving the world from utter destruction. Instead, she was treated with scrutiny and accusations of corruption. It seemed that no matter what she did, it would be the wrong thing. No matter what she said, it would be wrong.

Feelings of guilt rose in her chest. She should be thankful that she was still alive at all. The reality that the Anchor might actually kill her had basically been accepted when she had set off after the Dragon's Breath. She had held Cullen one last time, gazing into his sad brown eyes. They had been married barely a week and he knew at that moment he would already be widowed. Her dear friends, who had stood by her side through everything - Sera, Iron Bull, Dorian - had sadly followed her back into the Eluvian, intent on bringing her back alive.

A part of her expected Solas to be behind the chaos, and yet another part of her had hoped that the clues pointing towards that conclusion were wrong. She had never seen eye to eye with him and she knew he had quietly respected her from the sidelines. When she realized all he had done - all the needless death and destruction he had caused - and all he wished to do, she had lost it. Her temper and her dignity burnt out as she screamed every profanity and insult she knew until the Anchor flared up with such intensity that she was once more collapsed on her knees, reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess.

Here is your Inquisitor, ladies and gentlemen, she thought at that moment.

He had seemed sad at the pain he caused her, but nonetheless, he was still going to carry out his plans.

"If you save me, I will come after you," she had said through tears as he clasped her left arm and removed the Anchor and everything else below her elbow with it.

Not much could be remembered of getting back to the Winter Palace. In shock, she had found herself in Iron Bull's arms, going back through the Eluvian.

"Inquisitor down!" Dorian had cried through the hallway.

Slipping in and out of consciousness, she remembered various voices - Vivienne, Varric, Blackwall, Sera, Josie, Lelianna - all worried, all angry, all confused.

Cullen's sad face hovered over hers. "I couldn't keep you away from danger," he would keep saying.

Once she had recovered somewhat, she had marched into the Exalted Council - her missing arm for all to see - and officially disbanded the Inquisition.

It had been a couple of weeks since they had returned to Skyhold, and she hadn't left her private quarters since. And apart from the ladies in waiting who had been assigned to care for her and bring her her meals, occasional visits from Sera, and bedtime with her husband, she didn't see anyone. Her meals were often left untouched, and she spent every night staring at the darkened ceiling, feeling empty and incomplete.

She was incomplete.

Hating herself even more for putting Cullen through even more pain, she felt unable to pull herself out of this rut she had found herself in. Nothing he said or did could bring a smile to her lips. Flowers sat in vases around the room until they wilted, and that was when the servants took them away. A pile of letters sat on the bedside table from various people, mostly with words of encouragement and well wishes for the days to come. Or that is what Cullen told her, as she hadn't read them.

The water was nearly cold when she heard the door to her private chambers below open and close, despite her never have rung the bell to call for assistance. She heard footsteps skipping up the stone steps towards the bedroom, recognizing the familiar skipping and a faint humming. She had to hand it to Sera: even though Evelyn wasn't the most fun person in Thedas to be around right now, Sera never faltered in remaining her usual, playful self.

"Evely," Sera said, reaching the top of the stairs. She headed to the bathtub, grabbing one of the fluffy towels as she passed. "I have something for you, yeah?"

Evelyn looked at her briefly but didn't say anything.

"Let's get you out of this tub," said Sera, reaching gently underneath Evelyn's good arm and pulling her up. The little elf was surprisingly strong, and Evelyn didn't resist as she pulled herself out of the tub. "Piss, this water is freezing! How are you still in here?" Sera exclaimed as she quickly wrapped the towel around Evelyn to protect her modesty, and then grabbing another to slip around her shoulders.

Evelyn didn't say anything as Sera directed her towards her dressing table and placed her on the stool. She grabbed a comb and started working through Evelyn's wet hair, chattering as she went about the daily gossip of Skyhold.

Her friend's voice was comforting at least, a temporary break from the eternal void Evelyn had shoved herself into. She gazed at the woman in the mirror that she no longer recognized. Her once vibrantly red hair hung about her pale face in curtains of faded auburn. Her once bright green eyes - made so from the Anchor - were now left pale and grey. Scars were now on her once porcelain features and down her chest. She was careful not to look at her left arm.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to keep it together as Sera finished combing her hair and then hurried over to dig through Evelyn's closet. She had once been able to take down fully grown dragons and fight demons. Now, she was being cared for by Sera as though she was an infant. A great sadness washed over her again as Sera returned and helped her out of the stool and into clean undergarments, simple breeches and a vest, and a soft, lambskin housecoat. Sera then took her to the bed and sat her down, pulling her hair back from her face and cupping her chin. "You are still the most beautiful friend I have, right?" she said. "Wanna see what I got you?"

Expecting a picture of bees or a pretty rock she had found, Evelyn watched as Sera stifled a giggle and skipped back to the stairs, descending quickly. No sooner had her footsteps faded and the door swung at the bottom of the steps, did she hear Sera return with two other sets of footsteps.

Cullen reached the top of the stairs first, looking ever tired and yet giving her a smile that still made her heart flutter ever so slightly. She had to gulp down a wave of anger as she thought of how their lives would be if she hadn't ever become the Herald. But then, she reminded herself, she never would have met him.

Sera followed, and last came Dagna, the dwarf who worked as the arcanist in Skyhold. She carried a wooden box in her arms that was almost as big as she was.

Cullen sat to Evelyn's left, slipping his arm around her side. She leaned against his shoulder, feeling suddenly anxious about all the nervous smiles she was getting.

Sera pulled over a small table and placed it in front of Evelyn, and then sat to her right, clutching at Evelyn's right arm. "Wait until you see what my wifey has made!" she couldn't contain her excitement.

Evelyn tried to force a smile. They were trying to cheer her up. But unless they could turn back time, nothing could change anything.

Dagna put the box down on the table in front of Evelyn, then took a deep breath. "Sera and Cullen came to me about this and I did a lot of research," she said quickly. She rested her hands on the clasps on the side of the long box, her eyes bright. "I read up on a lot of things, and Lady Lelianna and Ambassador Montiliyet were generous in supplying me with more than enough books. I couldn't find anything like this ever being made before, but I was able to improvise-"

"She's so smart, isn't she?" Sera quickly piped up, giggling into Evelyn's arm.

Dagna blushed but continued. "I incorporated some Lyrium - not much, of course, just enough to work - and I feel like because you're a mage and already have certain abilities, it should work-"

Sera was almost vibrating in her seat. "Come on! Show her!" she practically squealed.

Dagna took another deep breath, and then undid the clasps of the box and opened it.

The inside of the box was lined with black velvet. Upon the black velvet was a contraption of some sort. It was metallic, a gleaming silver in the sunlight. Evelyn felt a gasp leave her lips as she realized what it was.

"What-"

"I got Cullen to measure your right arm," Dagna said, biting her lip. Evelyn had no memory of this and glanced sideways at her husband.

He cleared his throat. "You were sleeping…"

"And so I made a template for your left arm with those templates," continued Dagna. "Then I thought perhaps I could make something actually functional instead of just a filler. So I did some experiments with magic. Lady Enchanter Vivienne was very helpful in the experimental period…"

"That's why we couldn't get this to you sooner," said Sera apologetically, as though it made a difference to Evelyn.

Dagna carried on explaining the inner workings of the prosthetic arm, but Evelyn was no longer listening. She gently wrangled her right arm from Sera's clutches and reached out a shaky hand. Dagna slowly trailed off and Evelyn felt Cullen and Sera hold their breath as she ran her fingers over the beautiful silver arm. It had carvings of flowers and vines all over it in faint lines. It was cold and solid to the touch.

"Evelyn?" Cullen's voice came from far away.

"Yes?" Evelyn said, turning to him.

"Do you like it?" he looked so nervous.

"I-"

Sera was now standing next to her wife, clasping her hands together and fidgeting from side to side. Dagna was still biting her lip.

Evelyn felt her eyes well up with tears. She hadn't physically cried in weeks, but for the first time in a long time, tears of happiness fell down her cheeks.

"I love it," she sobbed.

Sera squealed and jumped up and down, clapping her hands. She grabbed Dagna's hands and swung her around, who giggled. "She loves it! She loves it!" Sera sang.

Cullen smiled, pushing her hair back from her face.

"Whenever you're ready I can help you put it on and we can start learning how to use it," Dagna said from Sera's happy embrace.

Evelyn gazed lovingly at her husband. "I missed that smile," he said softly, running a thumb over her lips. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Happy birthday, my love."


End file.
